Dear son or daughter: Our memories are different from other people’s memories.
I was sitting at home on a rainy Saturday going through Youtube videos of families and imagining our future. Mommy and daddy moved from far away to the country you will be born in and chances are we won’t have our families around as often as we would like. Our memories are different from other people’s memories.
I watched videos of families getting together on Christmas to celebrate. I saw videos of birthday parties full of balloons, laugh, noise of people speaking to each other and an ugly, very disproportional, lovely homemade cake with little candles that were purchased last-minute because someone that was in charge of getting it ended up forgetting to go to the store. Some people also filmed their walk in the park or just a meet up with their parents on their way to the grocery store. Our memories aren’t going to be like that.
You will most likely grow up far from our families although the love they have for you will not change a single bit. We won’t have casual and frequent meetups with mommy’s friends and most of your birthdays will be celebrated far away from our loved ones.
Our memories are different.
I think I feel a bit guilty for you to be born somewhere neither of us, your parents, came from. I had the chance of growing up very close to my parents, cousins, grandparents and totally believe that shaped me to be who I am today. Their love remains on me even when some of them are already gone. You won’t have that, and I caught myself feeling guilty as our choices are the reason you will grow up far away from loved ones and your memories are going to be very different from most people.
And then it hit me.
You will experience things I was never able to experience.
You have countless airplane trips on your future. You are probably going to be a professional on how to find your gate on an airport and we will have tons of little gadgets to make us feel comfortable on long trips.
Our memories are different.
You will also experience every single season this world has to offer you. Your winters will have a temperature of -35C in the north of Sweden and how about experiencing +40C summers in Brazil? You will ride snow mobiles, surf, make snow mans and drink coconut water at the beach.
You, differently from me and your dad, will see the world as it is: Extremely small. Your memories are indeed going to be different from ours.
Love will find you everywhere you go. To one of the coldest places on earth to where you will use a bottle of sunblock a day. Family will be there. Love will find you.
You will also be very lucky, while mom is an only child, your dad has a lot of siblings so you will never grow out of uncles and aunts that are already so happy with your existence. As if you weren’t lucky enough, you have grandparents, great grandparents, extended family cousins and uncles and aunts who couldn’t contain themselves with the idea of you coming to this world in a bit less than 5 months.
Life is a wonder and each person experiences it in a different way. We hope you face it with arms wide open and that you understand that we’ve done what we thought it was the best for you. Even if your memories are different, may you know they are as valuable as any other memory. They will shape you to whom you will become.
One day you will have your own choices and will fully understand where you want to go or if you want to stay. For now you are with us and we will try to enjoy your presence every single day of our lives.
I will focus on all the good that you have instead of what we might all be missing out.
It will be you experiencing the consequences of your parents choices as we all do.