Goodbye, England!

If you thought that the fact that I’ve already moved countries before (actually, not long ago) would make me prepared for it this time, you thought wrong.

I forget how much of a mess two people can make in a house, especially because we’re not bringing anything with us either than clothes and some special items. We sold 80% of our house but the 20% that is left is scattered around the floor in every single room. We just sold most of our storage space so we literally can’t hide anything. I am proud of how well I’m dealing with it though– I hate messy places, everything has a specific place in my house and I very much like to keep it that way. I believe the fact that I am still working full time and will do up until when we move is being beneficial to me: I get to spend most of my time away from my very messy house and also don’t have time to worry about labour. Having said that, I am counting the hours to finish working in three (three!) days, I am now 36 weeks pregnant and very much looking forward getting to Sweden.

I haven’t been nervous about labour. I still have a positive mindset where I truly believe everything will flow as it should. I don’t mind the pain if I can see that it’s progressing and the baby is just fine – I really want a natural labour and I believe that as long as I have that, I will keep calm and trust my body. Fingers crossed everything will go as planned, but if it doesn’t, I’m sure I will be in good hands.

The only reason that I am a bit anxious is the fact that I still have a bit more than a week before we get to Sweden – I am not full term yet, my due date is on the 13th of August, but what if baby girl comes early? What if she comes even before we leave the UK? Or if she decides to be born on the way there?
After asking those questions over and over again in my mind, I decided that it’s going to be what has to be. There’s no way I can control it and even though I hope it will all go according to plan, it might not. I decided to prepare myself for the unknown instead of trying to find a solution. There’s no solution of course, so no reason to stress myself trying to find it. If the baby is born before we leave, then we will need to understand what we need to bring her with us. If I go into labour on the way there…well…we try and drive non-stop? Go straight to the nearest hospital? I am very thankful for the European Union though, otherwise I don’t think I would move this far through my pregnancy.

Unfortunately with all that is going on in our lives I feel like we’re focusing so little on our pregnancy – there’s so much going on during the day that I only remember I’m pregnant when I lay my weary head down and feel like I’ve been hit by a lorry. The reason that I truly believe this move is the right decision for our family helps me not to blame myself too much. It’s been an easy pregnancy, I was able to do what I wanted to do, travel, work, spend time with my husband and plan our lives – I did enjoy it and already feel like I will miss having a baby in my belly. It’s a nice feeling of completeness, holiness, something that can’t be explained. A feeling that has not left me for one minute during this pregnancy is thankfulness. I know how lucky I am to experience it, how privileged and blessed I truly am. I would never doubt that.

I believe this is my last update from the UK which is bittersweet, even though we’ve had some tough experiences in this country, it was one of my dream destinations and I got to explore it as much as I could. Three years here have made me grow a lot and trust myself and my instincts even more. I grew so much as a person, took my mom on her first trip abroad, met friends from far away, worked for the government and got pregnant with my first little peanut! I have dearly memories from England and will surely be back to visit and have little flashbacks from places I’ve been to before. Ahh…changes are tough!

Thank you for everything, England! You beautiful country.

-Nadine

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